Blog

2022
  • August 5th Learn to Suffer
    This might not be a popular idea, but I think it is one that we all need to learn.  I was talking to two people this week and the same word came up for both, which seemed appropriate. I told them both: “Part of moving forward and living a healthier life, right now, means you … Continue reading "Blog"
2020
  • March 23rd Fritz Perls, the World Needs You More Than Ever
    On March 14th, 1970—fifty years ago—Fritz Perls, the man behind Gestalt Therapy, died. Few people reading this will know who he was, let alone the significant influence he had on the world of psychology. He was a complex and interesting man. He could be manipulative, grumpy, dismissive and harsh but also funny, insightful, sentimental and warm. … Continue reading "Blog"
  • February 24th Depression Your Friend
    If you’re reading this, there’s a chance you or someone you love lives with depression, and I say lives with for a reason. In this blog, I want to pose a different way to approach understanding your depression. Instead of pushing depression away and hating on it, I want you to love it. I want … Continue reading "Blog"
2019
  • April 10th 7 Considerations When Leaving Your Marriage, Part Two
    This is Part Two in a series. Part One can be read here In the last article I highlighted three important considerations to think about before leaving your marriage: Be sure, be kind, and the guilt you might experience about leaving. These three considerations are very much about you and your internal dialogue and in … Continue reading "Blog"
  • April 3rd 7 Considerations When Leaving Your Marriage, Part One
    I suspect if you are reading this article, you’re at the point where you’re thinking of moving on from a marriage that doesn’t feel satisfying anymore. For many, deciding to leave is the loneliest journey they’ve ever taken with multiple twists and turns along the way. You may have talked to your friends or a … Continue reading "Blog"
  • February 16th Is Your Childhood Blueprint Holding You Back?
    Do you find you don’t deal with situations or relationships as successfully as you’d like? Do you feel depressed, anxious, or think negative things about yourself, others or the world? If so, it could be that your blueprint is holding you back. You can think of your blueprint as everything you felt, saw, thought, touch, … Continue reading "Blog"
  • January 21st The Law of Polarity Might Change Your Life
    As a change facilitator and therapist, I recognize there really isn’t a one-size fits all approach to being healthy and happy. Which is why books by gurus, and therapies sometimes work and sometimes don’t. The truth is just because something worked well for one person, that doesn’t mean it will work the same for you. … Continue reading "Blog"
2018
  • July 30th Depression is Different for Everyone
    Each and every person who has ever experienced depression will have his or her own take on what it’s like. There are many commonalities and themes associated with depression, such as thoughts of hopelessness, loss, and feelings of utter sadness. But we all still have our own unique experiences within that. And communicating how we feel and … Continue reading "Blog"
  • July 20th Sex with Your Ex: Bad Idea or Harmless Fun?
    Divorce and breakups are hard for most people. It’s probably one of the most traumatic experiences a person can go through, next to the death of a loved one, or getting a letter from the IRS. Yet for others, it’s a blast of freedom, a chance to reset and start again. But one aspect of … Continue reading "Blog"
  • July 2nd When Lies Become Truth
    When we are growing up, we learn from everybody around us. We learn how to interact with others; how to share, how to eat, how to think. We believe most of what we are told growing up, and if we don’t believe it, we might be shouted at, or told we are wrong; and we … Continue reading "Blog"
  • June 30th Talk the Talk: 10 Tips for Starting Therapy
    A friend of mine recently told me about her experience of starting psychotherapy. She said she would have liked a list of pointers to help her understand what she was getting into before she started. That sounded like a good idea to me. It’s not uncommon to want a few signposts when we start a journey. … Continue reading "Blog"
  • June 16th Are You Perpetuating Your Problem?
    Whether you’re experiencing anxiety, depression, anger, jealousy, envy, guilt, hurt or shame, you are most likely (perhaps unintentionally) perpetuating your problem by your thoughts. Let me explain. When we function in a healthy manner, we don’t just experience joy and happiness, prancing around without a care in the world. We actually still experience a range of emotions, … Continue reading "Blog"
  • June 2nd 5 Ways to Help Guarantee Success
    Question: Once upon a time, there were three frogs on a log. One day one of them made a decision to jump into the pool below. How many frogs were left on the log? Answer: There are still three frogs on a log! One had only made a decision to jump in, but took no … Continue reading "Blog"
  • May 15th You Are Amazing
    Yes, it’s true: You are amazing. You are wonderful, fantastic, downright spectacular. No? You don’t think so? Every day I hear people put themselves down. They curse themselves for being stupid, a failure, or weak. My answer to them is always the same — sure. But let’s be clear what we’re talking about. You, the … Continue reading "Blog"
  • May 2nd Change is Easy, But Sometimes We Don’t Realize It
    Change is easy, it really is. Don’t believe me? OK, try this and I’ll prove it to you. Sit or stand still with your eyes open. Take a deep breath. Count to five. Now clap your hands. There, I proved change is easy. You thought about something. You decided to do it and you did … Continue reading "Blog"
  • April 17th Comparing Yourself to Others: The Grass May Be Greener, But…
    If you work with me, you will often hear me say, “The grass may be greener, but it still needs cutting.” This basically means that things can always be better, but you still need to work hard at reaching your goals. Some people spend too much time comparing their success to others. They see only the … Continue reading "Blog"
  • April 16th Too Many Choices: Problems with Searching for an Extraordinary Life
    Like many kids growing up in the 1970s and ’80s, I was fortunate enough to have parents who were able to provide all the modern luxuries a kid could want. I was always fed, clothed, and loved. I never lived without a home, color TV, car and good education. Not that everything was great, but … Continue reading "Blog"
  • April 6th Self-Love is Not a Crime: Learning to Love Yourself
    When working with depressed people, I’m amazed at how often there’s a theme of self-neglect. When I ask them about how they treat themselves, or what they do to care or have love for themselves, often I get the same strange look while they utter the same words: “Why would I love myself?” I’m not … Continue reading "Blog"
  • March 25th One Mistake Doesn’t Define You
    I was just catching up with the latest Lakers news and was interested to see the new drama surrounding Kobe Bryant and Dahntay Jones of the Atlanta Hawks. It turns out that Kobe hurt his ankle after Jones walked into him on a fade-away jumper, and Kobe landed awkwardly, twisting his ankle. What does this … Continue reading "Blog"
  • February 22nd Therapists Have Therapy Too
    One thing that often surprises me is when a therapy user comments on how they admire the therapist because they must never get overwhelmed by the common issues or problems the rest of humanity experiences. The times I’ve heard people tell me, “I wish I was like you, you are so calm and together.” As … Continue reading "Blog"
  • February 12th Letter to a Loved One When Depressed
    Depression is a terrible thing to experience. It robs us of so many things which the human spirit needs to thrive, grow and be happy. It can rob us of the ability to think clearly, to make decisions, to feel love and above all it can rob us of hope. One thing I’m often asked is, … Continue reading "Blog"
  • January 19th Self-Sabotage When You Can’t Sleep
    It’s 3 a.m. and I’m awake. Ordinarily I’d be asleep but right now I’m awake and I don’t like it. Strangely this happens at least once every couple of weeks for me. I just wake up early. No real rhyme or reason, it just happens. At one time in my life, this used to bug … Continue reading "Blog"
  • January 6th 5 Things About Life, the Universe & Everything
    Admit it: You like reading articles that contain lists. You know the ones I mean. The ones that contain those snippets that’ll explain how you can change your life if you follow a five-step plan to being a better person. The five steps to being wealthy; five beauty tips of the stars; five things that … Continue reading "Blog"
2017
  • November 11th Memento Mori: Remember You’re Mortal
    I love the story about how, when generals were parading through the streets of Rome during a victory march, a slave would be tasked with walking behind them saying memento mori — remember you’re mortal. How great is that? Here’s a Roman general, top of the pile, a massive celebrity (like the Jay-Z of his day), and … Continue reading "Blog"
  • September 30th What’s in a Name? The Washington Redskins
    This blog is a slight departure from my usual posts as a recent news story has raised some thoughts for me that I wanted to write about. As a therapist, I’m always interested in human behavior, especially when it comes to inequality. I understand that humans often act irrationally, and I think discrimination is often … Continue reading "Blog"
  • September 19th Job Layoffs: The Aftermath of Redundancy
    In a previous post, I mentioned there was a rumor of redundancy for some friends of mine. Some people were in fact let go, though none of my friends were among the unfortunate ones. Redundancy — losing your job in a layoff — is difficult for most people. I’ve worked with many people who have been made … Continue reading "Blog"
  • September 5th Job Layoffs: Facing Redundancy Rumors
    I have some friends who have heard a rumor their company will be making big redundancies soon, and I really feel for them. One thing that’s guaranteed to cause instability in a person — and any organization — is the rumor of redundancy. For many, the security of having a job is essential for their well-being. If … Continue reading "Blog"
  • August 17th Depression & Seniors: 5 Ways You Can Help
    Depression affects people of all ages; it really doesn’t care if you’re a 17-year-old high school student or a 50-something CEO.  Depression is non-discriminating  and will take you down like a starving grizzly bear, given half a chance. There is one age group that often gets overlooked when it comes to depression and that’s the elderly. … Continue reading "Blog"
  • July 8th Discovering Your Teenage Daughter is Pregnant: 10 Tips for Parents
    “You’re what?” It’s not every day your teenage daughter tells you she’s pregnant. That same teenage daughter you thought was only interested in cheerleading and getting good results in school. That same teenage girl who only a few short few weeks ago told you she’s not interested in having a boyfriend. “You’re what!” Hearing such … Continue reading "Blog"
  • July 5th Teenage Pregnancy: 10 Tips for Telling Your Parents
    You’ve done the test. You’ve done the test again. You’ve done the test for a third time and thrown up. Yep, you’re 16 and pregnant. You didn’t plan it. You thought you’d taken precautions but you’re pregnant. Oh boy, now what? For some teenagers this may be a happy moment, yet for others it can … Continue reading "Blog"
  • May 30th Do You Shout? Why That May Not be Especially Helpful in Communicating
    Do you find yourself shouting at people? The problem with shouting is that it isn’t really communicating — it’s being aggressive and intimidating. That clearly is not the best way to forge relationships. You may not think that you’re being aggressive, or acting unhealthily — but you are. And you’re not doing yourself or anyone … Continue reading "Blog"
  • May 22nd Become Your Own Superhero!
    I was giddy like a schoolgirl at a Justin Bieber concert when I went to see the movie ‘Man of Steel’ the other day. You see, I’m a big fan of Superman and this was the movie I’d been waiting for all year. (Thankfully, the film was great and I loved it.) It also got … Continue reading "Blog"
  • March 9th Self-Care Is Learning to Give & Receive
    Yes, yes, I know you don’t need me to state the obvious. You and I both know that self-care is unlikely to be top of your or my list or even in our vocabulary when we’re depressed. Trouble is, this probably isn’t the first time you’ve neglected self-care, though, is it? I bet that word … Continue reading "Blog"